slow.richardcheese.com


RICHARD CHEESE & LOUNGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
SWINGIN' LOUNGE SINGER VERSIONS OF YOUR FAVORITE HIT SONGS!
www.richardcheese.com

 

hello.  my name is billy.  i am seven years-old.  i am the webmaster for the richardcheese.com "non-flash" HTML-only website.

i am sorry that you don't have flash and you have dialup and you don't have a good computer or PDA and you can't see the regular richardcheese.com website.

below are the links to the pages in the website so you can see them until you get your pathetic shit together.

 

[ scroll down for page links ]


 

GOOD EVENING!
   DICK PLAYS THE U.S. IN 2008/2009!      NEW "DICK AT NITE" CD ON SALE NOW! 
TOMORROW'S STANDARDS TODAY!


America's loudest lounge singer Richard Cheese performs swingin' Vegas versions of rock, rap, and Top40 hits, "swankifying" contemporary songs into traditional pop vocal standards.  Cheese has sold more than 135,000 CDs; his albums include Lounge Against The Machine, Tuxicity, I'd Like A Virgin, Aperitif For Destruction, The Sunny Side Of The Moon, his Christmas album Silent Nightclub, and his all-new TV Themes album Dick At Nite.

7  Things Richard Cheese Wants You To Know:

1)  His 7th CD "Dick At Nite" is now on sale!
2)  He's playing his final farewell tour!
3)  myspace.com/richardcheese
4)  Yes, you can hire him to play your xmas party or wedding!
5)  He has sold more than 140,000 CDs since 2000!
6)  If you buy some RC merchandise, he can afford to record more CDs!
7)  His music was featured in the movie Dawn Of The Dead!
8)
  He can't count!

The hardest working Dick in show business has played sellout shows around the world, from New York to New Orleans, from Las Vegas to London, from Portland to Portugal, from Hollywood to Honolulu.  His songs have been featured in the movie Dawn Of The Dead and the NBC-TV shows Las Vegas and Passions, and he's performed on Jimmy Kimmel Live, CNN, MTV's Say What Karaoke?, Fox & Friends on the Fox News Channel, and NBC's Last Call with Carson Daly as the house band. 

With his swanky jazz trio, his tiger-striped tuxedo, and his enormous microphone, Richard Cheese presents the perfect mix of music, martini, and madcap!


Thanks for spreading the cheese!


 

► FOR A COMPLETE BIO, VISIT THE "ABOUT DICK" PAGE!
 click "EXTRA CHEESE" for more swingin' fun

 

NEW ALBUM
"DICK AT NITE"

YOUR FAVORITE
TV THEMES
LOUNGIFIED!

 13-song CD in stores NOW!

BUY IT NOW IN OUR
CHEESE SHOP!

OR

BUY IT NOW
AT  ITUNES!

16-song iTunes version of album
includes
3 exclusive bonus songs
not available on the CD!

click here for song list

 

REQUEST-A-SONG FOR RICHARD CHEESE TO SWANKIFY!
Do you have a song suggestion for Dick's next CD?
FIRST, SEE WHICH SONGS ARE ALREADY ON
DICK'S SEVEN CDs . . . . VISIT OUR TRACKLIST PAGE!
Click For CD Track Lists!
THEN, click here to email your song request idea to RC.


 

 

WEBSITE LINKS

WELCOME  http://www.richardcheese.com/rawelcome.html
REQUEST-A-SONG  http://www.richardcheese.com/rcontact.html
RICHARD CHEESE PRESSKIT  http://www.richardcheese.com/rpresskit.html
 
CHEESE SHOP:  CDs + GIFTS + VIDEO
BUY CDs (CHEESE SHOP)  http://www.richardcheese.com/rstore.html
CD TRACK LISTS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rtracks.html
AUDIO & VIDEO DOWNLOADS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rmedia.html
 
SHOWS + BOOKING + TICKETS
APPEARANCES & TOUR SCHEDULE  http://www.richardcheese.com/rsked.html
SHOWS + BOOKING - HIRE RC FOR YOUR EVENT  http://www.richardcheese.com/rhire.html
TOUR HISTORY  http://www.richardcheese.com/rtourhistory.html
BUY SHOW TICKETS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rtix.html
 
ABOUT DICK
BIO & CAREER HIGHLIGHTS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rabout.html
STAGEPLOT & TECH RIDER  http://www.richardcheese.com/rtech.html
REVIEWS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rreviews.html
INTERVIEWS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rinterviews.html
CREDITS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rcredits.html
FAQ  http://www.richardcheese.com/rfaq.html
 
CONTACT
CONTACT RC  http://www.richardcheese.com/rcontact.html
CUSTOMER SERVICE  http://www.richardcheese.com/rcustomer.html
JOIN EMAIL LIST  http://www.richardcheese.com/rcontact.html
GET AN AUTOGRAPH  http://www.richardcheese.com/rautograph.html
 
EXTRA CHEESE
PHOTOS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rpix.html
LIBRARY  http://www.richardcheese.com/rlibrary.html
CONTESTS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rcontests.html
DISCOGRAPHY  http://www.richardcheese.com/rdisco.html
BOOTLEGS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rbootlegs.html
GAMES  http://www.richardcheese.com/rgames.html
MYSPACE & YOUTUBE  http://www.richardcheese.com/rlinks.html
DICK'S VEGAS TIPS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rvegastips.html
LINKS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rlinks.html
DRINKS  http://www.richardcheese.com/rdrinks.html
THE RICHARD CHEESE HAPPY CLUB  http://www.richardcheese.com/rhappy.html

 

Richard Cheese




 
GET DOWN WITH THE DICKNESS!

ENTER YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO JOIN THE RICHARD CHEESE FANCLUB!

Sign up here to receive updates about Richard Cheese CDs, shows, and other crap!


Or, send an email to
subscribe-80188@en.groundspring.org

 

www.richardcheese.com
lounge@richardcheese.com

 

 

Visit YOUTUBE to see dozens of home-made fan videos featuring Richard Cheese songs, plus RC's fabulous music videos
Click For Dick! www.youtube.com/user/RichardCheese

 

WILL YOU OR YOUR FRIEND BE DICK'S 60,000th MYSPACE FRIEND?  Get your friends to add RC and you might win a free lithograph poster!
Click For Dick! www.myspace.com/richardcheese

 

RC asks you to support the
The Innocence Project
The Innocence Project is a national litigation and public policy
organization dedicated to exonerating wrongfully convicted
people through DNA testing and reforming the criminal justice
system to prevent future injustice.
find out more

 

JOIN THE RICHARD CHEESE HAPPY CLUB!
   
CLICK "EXTRA CHEESE" FOR INFO!

 

HUGE DICK SALE:  SAVE BIG ON CDs & MERCHANDISE!
ALL-NEW T-SHIRTS!
"WELCOME TO FABULOUS RICHARD CHEESE"
COMPRESSED T-SHIRTS! VEGAS T-SHIRTS!
COMPRESSED SHIRTS!   4 FUN SHAPES!
 click "CDs+GIFTS+VIDEOS"